D             <<< SPCVXA::$1$DUA2:[NOTES$LIBRARY]X-NUTWORKS.NOTE;2 >>>0                                 -< X-NUTWORKS >-P ================================================================================P Note 7.0                             Issue 6                          No repliesP SPCVXA::BEN "Ben Cohen"                             831 lines   6-MAR-1990 19:13P --------------------------------------------------------------------------------H ************************************************************************H ************************************************************************H ***                                                                  ***H ***                                                                  ***H ***                            NutWorks                              ***H ***                           ----------                             ***H ***              The Inter-Net Virtual Magazine for Those            ***H ***              Who Have Come To The Ultimate Conclusion            ***H ***                That They Are, Therefore They Think !             ***H ***                                                                  ***H ***          October 1985,  Issue006, (Volume II, Number 2).         ***H ***                                                                  ***H ************************************************************************H ************************************************************************   -                             Editor's Comments -                             =================    H     Well the response to the first issue of nutworks for this  sememsterH has incredible.  Some of you  (Yes Knappy, I mean you for one)  sent  meH enough stuff to sort through to keep me busy for quite a while.   ThanksH for all the great stuff everyone out there sent us.  I ran into a slightH problem with several of the articles that were sent to me though.  Alth-H ough they were on the whole great articles, some were  incredibly  long.H I didnt want to clogg up people's readers or the network with an incred-H ibly large issue, so i decided to try something  revolutionary  to  thisH magazine that we all know and love, I decided that I would have to  makeH some of the articles into several parters (An example is in the Op  CodeH article)  I want to stress that I am not complaining about  people send-H ing long articles, on the contrary,  I am  explaining  to you why I  didH that I did.  Besides, we want to make sure that you will read next issue   &                                    :-)   H P.S. Knappy Sorry, but it wouldn't  be fair to make an entire issue justH      out of the stuff you sent  me.  It will be  spread out over several&      issues.  Thanks for your support.   H ------------------------------------------------------------------------      )                             NutWorks News )                             =============    H    1) The NutWorks Staff Would like to wish everyone a great time at the@ upcoming Netcon being held in Washington, D.C., October 11 - 14.       2) (Outdated text deleted.)   H    3) The Staff has decided that on top of distributing NutWorks throughH the Forum Conferencing System to create a mailing list.  To get yourselfH added to this list send a memo with your account, node, and name (First, Last) to BRENT@MAINE.    B    4) The CURRENT mailing list is 120 People on Bitnet !!! WOW !!!   &                                    :-)   H ------------------------------------------------------------------------   '                                    Bugs *                                 ==========   3                      I think that I shall never see 3                      a subroutine that works for me +                      a macro or a zero test 4                      that isn't just a rodent's nest7                      a string that doesn't always stray 3                      and mix up bit's in wild array 4                      a process with re-entrant flair4                      that isn't just a looping snair9                      routines whose timings are not slain 2                      when interrupts begin to rain.                      maybe god can make a tree7                      but bugs are made by guys like me!    H ------------------------------------------------------------------------      0                       Another Glitch in the Call0                       ==========================<             (Sung to the tune of a similar Pink Floyd song.)7                 (Contributed By Knappy 8350428 @ UWAVM)    !      We don't need no indirection "      We don't need no flow control#      No data typing or declarations ,         Hey!  You!  Leave those lists alone!      Chorus:8         All in all, it's just a pure-LISP function call.%      We don't need no side effect-ing #      We don't need no scope control &      No global variables for execution+         Hey!  You!  Leave those args alone! 
      (Chorus)        We don't need no allocation#      We don't need no special nodes *      No dark bit-flipping in the functions+         Hey!  You!  Leave those bits alone! 
      (Chorus) !      We don't need no compilation "      We don't need no load control'      No link edit for external bindings ,         Hey!  You!  Leave that source alone!      (Chorus, and repeat)    H ------------------------------------------------------------------------   "                             Proofs$                           ==========   < The following is a list of some common proof techniques that are often extremely useful.     1  Proof by example:   <       The author gives only the case n = 2 and suggests that9       it contains most of the ideas of the general proof.     2  Proof by intimidation:        'Trivial.'     3  Proof by vigorous handwaving:   3       Works well in a classroom or seminar setting.      4  Proof by cumbersome notation:   6       Best done with access to at least four alphabets       and special symbols.    5  Proof by exhaustion:    ;       An issue or two of a journal devoted to your proof is 
       useful.     6  Proof by omission:    1       'The reader may easily supply the details.' *       'The other 253 cases are analogous.'       '...'     7  Proof by obfuscation:   9       A long plotless sequence of true and/or meaningless '       syntactically related statements.     8  Proof by wishful citation:    @       The author cites the negation, converse, or generalization9       of a theorem from literature to support his claims.     9  Proof by funding:   =       How could three different government agencies be wrong?     10 Proof by eminent authority:   =       'I saw Karp in the elevator and he said it was probably        NP-complete.'    # 11 Proof by personal communication:    ?       'Eight-dimensional colored cycle stripping is NP-complete &       [Karp, personal communication].'   + 12 Proof by reduction to the wrong problem:    @       ' To see that infinite-dimensional colored cycle stripping9       is decidable, we reduce it to the halting problem.'    1 13 Proof by reference to inaccessible literature:    <       The author cites a simple corollary of a theorem to be=       found in a privately circulated memoir of the Slovenian !       Philological Society, 1883.     14 Proof by importance:    =       A large body of useful consequences all follow from the        proposition in question.   ! 15 Proof by accumulated evidence:    A       Long and diligent search has not revealed a counterexample.     16 Proof by cosmology:   E       The negation of the proposition is unimaginable or meaningless. 1       Popular for proofs of the existence of God.     17 Proof by mutual reference:    C       In reference A, Theorem 5 is said to follow from Theorem 3 in E       reference B,  which is shown from Corollary 6.2 in reference C, ?       which is an easy consequence of Theorem 5 in reference A.     18 Proof by metaproof:   ;       A method is given to construct the desired proof. The E       correctness of the method is proved by any of these techniques.:  T 19 Proof by picture:  E?       A more convincing form of proof by example. Combines well=       with proof by omission.=  = 20 Proof by vehement assertion:=   @       It is useful to have some kind of authority in relation to       the audience.A  E 21 Proof by ghost reference:   @       Nothing even remotely resembling the cited theorem appears       in the reference given.-  - 22 Proof by forward reference:  *@       Reference is usually to a forthcoming paper of the author,4       which is often not as forthcoming as at first.  * 23 Proof by semantic shift:    @       Some standard but inconvenient definitions are changed for"       the statement of the result.     24 Proof by appeal to intuition:   1       Cloud-shaped drawings frequently help here.*   H ------------------------------------------------------------------------      &                              The Virus&                              =========+                         by: J. Keith Lehman 1                   WT123275 @ WVNVAXA (Fozzy Bear)   y  i     SEP-16-2007*   D        BRAM (Bacterial Random Access Memory) was the greatest innov-D     ation in the computer industry since the introduction of thoughtD     recognition systems back in 1997.  Before BRAM, most home compu-D     ters had more than  64  gigabytes  of memory.  Now the amount ofD     memory is governed by the need.  If you need more memory, simplyD     "uncage" some of your multiplying bacteria.  In a matter of sec-D     onds the  bacteria  will  divide  into  astronomical amounts  ofD     memory using normal cell division.  Information is stored in the4     DNA molecules of the bacteria which you produce.   D        By the year 2002, nearly every computer system relied on BRAMD     for the  huge  amount of  storage  required to translate thoughtD     processes into a form computers could read.  All governments hadD     BRAM  based defense  systems and  now the  BRAM  technology  hadD     finally arrived on the home market.  For only $32,000  (the costD     of an average laser printer)  you could buy a  BRAM  module  for:     your home system. They sold every one they could make.   D        The tragedy occured when a disgruntled employee of the Genen-D     comp division of  Eastern-IBM  started to research ways to alterD     the genetic structures of the  BRAM  bacteria  through a type ofD     virus.  His apparent aim was to hold Eastern-IBM's data hostage.D     He was  given everything  that he demanded in the hope that  IBMD     scientists could discover the strain before he could release it.D     After extensive searches it  was determined that the virus was aD     hoax.   IBM had the man arrested and he was sentenced to 2 yearsD     in a minimum security prison.  IBM continued to produce the BRAM5     module, and for a while everything went smoothly.u  rD        Until...   It turned  out that the  employee  had  hidden theD     infamous  strain in the form of  actual electrical  instructionsD     embedded within a variable-bit microprocessor used in IBM's mostD     popular  mini-computer.  The  program was  set to  execute auto-D     matically after four months.   Upon execution,  the instructionsD     reprogrammed an innocent  BRAM  bacteria into a cancerous virus.D     The entire  IBM  computer  system was  destroyed.  Consumers andD     businesses lost faith in IBM  and the company filed for  Chapter     11 within a week.    D       The instructions to reprogram the bacteria were simultaneouslyD     transmitted to every computer on every  network connected in anyD     way to IBM--which turned out to be quite a lot. The IBM researchD     network  was connected  to popular  world wide  networks used byD     colleges,  businesses,  home computer owners and defense depart-D     ment computers as well. The result--TOTAL ANNIHILATION of nearly!     every computer big and small.    D        Businesses suddenly had no records, no way to take new ordersD     or any way to confirm existing orders.   Thousands of businessesD     crumbled.  The  world  economy was  thrust into  chaos  as banksD     closed and called in their loans. Several smaller countries wereD     hit by  revolutions. The  news  media  compared  it to a nuclear<     blast hitting the economy of every country in the world.  -D        Needless to say, BRAM was declared to be a threat to nationalD     security  and federal  authorities  had the  authority to arrestD     anyone  caught  experimenting with it.  The disgruntled employeeD     was exiled out of the  U.S.  (the  first time  anyone  had  beenD     exiled since 1990).  The  IRS  suspended  all audits for 2 yearsD     because  they could not  expect people to to complete  their taxD     forms correctly  without the aid of computers. Everyone  draggedD     out their  old silicon  based  computers  and tried to cope with=     losing  all the information formerly in the BRAM systems.   !D        Two years later the virus died out  due to a lack of new BRAMD     to feed on. Some BRAM systems were revived with a new antibioticD     organism  that roamed  throughout the  memory  serching  for anyD     trace of a virus. Fortunately,  no other virus has been found...     yet...!    H ------------------------------------------------------------------------  l  !;                   SEMICONDUCTOR DEFINITIONS AND TERMINOLOGY-;                   =========================================    4   HOLES .................... the presence of nothing   B   HOLE DENSITY ............. a concentrated amount of nothing in 1(                              small place  x1   ELECTRON ................. the absence of holes=  a+   PLANCK'S CONSTANT ........ two board feeth  d-   JUNCTION ................. fork in the roadi  a/   P-N JUNCTION ............. roadside rest areas  n)   SEMI-CONDUCTOR ........... truck drivero  r;   DEGENERATE SEMICONDUCTOR . truck driver who likes his tea    -   DOPE ..................... someone you knowe   =   HEAVILY DOPED ............ someone you wish you didn't know    (   STORE CHARGE ............. wine cellar  p+   SILICON .................. a gay prisoners  nA   GERMANIUM ................ would have been a flower but someoneT*                              misspelled it   1   TRANSPORT FACTOR ......... cousin of Max Factoro  s?   MAJORITY CARRIER ......... Republican  carrying  signs  at  ae2                              Republican convention   D   MINORITY CARRIER ......... Democrat carrying signs at a Republican'                              convention    1   BASE ..................... low man in a quarteto   &   COMMON BASE .............. local pub  g-   COLLECTOR ................ one who collects   I<   COMMON COLLECTOR ......... one who collects from everybody  cE   COLLECTOR CAPACITY ....... maximum # of people  a common  collectord'                              can handlec  l?   COLLECTOR BREAKDOWN ...... result of being a common collectoru  o5   VOLTAGE DROP ............. a candy, like a gum dropi  d.   CURRENT DENSITY .......... present stupidity  b<   CURRENT GAIN ............. most recent rise in one's stock  e3   POWER GAIN ............... fullback up the middler  t=   ATOM ..................... part of an  American  colloquiala4                              expression, "up & atom"  cE   DELAY TIME ............... time it takes to start working after oney8                              has arrived on the premises  oD   RISE TIME ................ time one takes to get up in the morning9                              after the alarm has gone off   62   FALL TIME ................ September to November  pG   SWITCHING TRANSISTORS .... act of changing one transistor for another   sE   DCTL ..................... Don't Complain if the Transistor's Lousyn  AB   IcZERO ................... mistake, it should read "I see Zorro"  h"   MINIATURE ................ small  r'   MICRO .................... damn smalln  oH ------------------------------------------------------------------------  i  i/                         OP CODES PART I (A - E)o/                         ======================= 8                  (Contributed By Knappy 8350428 @ UWAVM)  i      mnemonic      meaning      --------      -------%      AAC           Alter All Commands !      AAD           Alter All Datai#      AAO           Add And Overflowt"      AAR           Alter At Random       AB            Add Backwards#      ABR           Add Beyond Rangee$      ACC           Advance CPU clock1      ACQT          Advance Clock to Quitting Timer*      ADB           Another Damn Bug [UNIX]-      AEE           Absolve engineering errorsh#      AFF           Add Fudge Factor 6      AFHB          Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary.      AFP           Abnormalized Floating PointA      AFVC          Add Finagle's Variable Constant  "the constanttB                       that must be added to make your data support'                       your conclusions"-      AGB           Add GarBage      AI            Add Improper ,      AIB           Attack Innocent Bystander!      AMM           Answer My Mail +      AOI           Annoy Operator Immediate2       AR            Alter Reality*      ARNZ          Add & Reset to Non-Zero&      ARZ           Add & Reset to Zero      AS            Add Sidewaysu$      AT            Accumulate Trivia(      AWP           Argue With Programmer,      AWTT          Assemble With Tinker Toys+      BAC           Branch to Alpha Centauriw!      BAF           Blow All Fusesn"      BAH           Branch And Hang/      BALC          Branch And Link Cheeseburgern%      BAW           Bells And Whistlesn       BB            Branch on bug!      BBB           Burn Baby Burne,      BBBB          Byte Baudy Bit and Branch/      BBI           Branch on Blinking Indicatori,      BBL           Branch on Burned-out Lamp'      BCB           Burp and Clear Byteso*      BCBF          Branch on Chip Box Full0      BCIL          Branch Creating Infinite Loop(      BCR           Backspace Card Reader'      BCU           Be Cruel and Unusuale!      BD            Backspace Diskh%      BDC           Break Down and Cryk/      BDM           Branch and Disconnect Memoryg*      BDT           Branch on Dumb TerminalB      BDT           Burn Data Tree [next opcode after Decorate Data                       Tree&      BDU           Branch on Dumb User=      BE            Branch Everywhere [As in HHGttG's Infinitew-                       Improbability Computer"       BF            Belch Fire "      BH            Branch and Hang3      BIRM          Branch on Index Register Missinge-      BLC           Branch and Loop Continuous &      BLM           Branch, Like, Maybe0      BLMWM         Branch, Like, Maybe, Wow, Man)      BLR           Branch and Lose Returnv      BM            Branch Maybeh*      BMI           Branch on Missing Index0      BNA           Branch to Nonexistent Address'      BNR           Branch for No Reasono,      BOA           Branch on Operator Absent/      BOD           Branch on Operator Desperateh5      BOHP          Bribe Operator for Higher Priorityt       BOP           Boot OPerator1      BPD           Branch on Programmer Debuggingi-      BPIM          Bury Programmer In Manuals &      BPO           Branch on Power Off      BR            Byte and Runo"      BRA           BRanch Anywhere+      BRA           Branch to Random Address &      BRI           BRanch Indefinitely%      BRO           BRanch to Oblivionu,      BRP           Branch on Real Programmer%      BRT           BRanch on Tuesdays1)      BSC           Burst Selector Channels-      BSM           Branch and Scramble Memory ,      BSO           Branch on Sleepy Operator$      BSP           BackSpace Printer+      BST           Backspace & Stretch Tape        BTD           Byte The Dust)      BTJ           Branch & Turn Japanesey%      BTO           Branch To Oblivionu!      BW            Branch on Whim 6      BWABL         Bells, Whistles And Blinking Lights$      BWOP          BeWilder OPerator*      CAF           Convert Ascii to Farsic1      CAI           Corrupt Accounting Informationy&      CAIL          Crash After I Leave,      CAT           Confused And Tired [UNIX]*      CBA           Compare & Branch Anyway&      CBNC          Close, But No Cigar$      CBS           Clobber BootStrap      CC            Call Calvarym(      CC            Crappy Control [UNIX]'      CCB           Consult Crystal Ball.6      CCCP          Conceal Condition-Codes Permanently'      CCD           Choke, Cough and DieeC      CCD           Clear Current Directory "this may really exist!"x&      CCD           Clear Core and Dump)      CCR           Change Channels Randomh(      CCS           Chinese Character Set-      CCWR          Change Color of Write Rings+      CDR           Complement Disk Randomlyp)      CFS           Corrupt File Structureo%      CG            Convert to Garbaget      CH            Create Havoch5      CHAPMR        CHAse Pointers Around Machine Roomi(      CIB           Change Important Byte.      CIMM          Create Imaginary Memory Map#      CM            Circulate memoryk       CMD           CPU Melt Down+      CMD           Compare Meaningless Datat.      CMI           Clobber Monitor Immediately/      CML           Compute Meaning of Life (42)o+      CMP           Create Memory Prosthesis $      CMS           Click MicroSwitch(      CN            Compare Nonsensically*      CNB           Cause Nervous Breakdown3      COLB          Crash for Operator's Lunch Break       COMF          COMe From2      COS           Copy Object Code to Source File.      COWHU         Come Out With your Hands Up&      CP%FKM        CPU - Flakeout mode#      CP%WM         CPU - Weird Modea%      CPB           Create Program Bug.=      CPR           Compliment PRogrammer ("Aren't you cute!")b1      CPSN          Change Processor Serial Numbern6      CRASH         Continue Running after Stop or Halt&      CRM           Clear Random Memory=      CRN           Convert to Roman Numerals [IBM Italy only] 9      CRYPT         reCuRsive encrYPt Tape mnemonic [UNIX]e      CS            Crash System.)      CSL           Curse and Swear Loudly (      CSN           Call Supervisor Names+      CSNIO         Crash System on Next I/Op=      CSU           Call Self Unconditional  " the ultimate ino,                       recursive programming"      CSYS          Crash SYStemA2      CTDMR         Change Tape Density, Mid Record%      CUC           Cheat Until Caught .      CVFL          Convert Floating to Logical,      CVFP          ConVert FORTRAN to PASCAL%      CVG           ConVert to Garbageu#      CVU           ConVert to Unaryc(      CWAH          Create Woman And Hold+      CWDC          Cut Wires and Drop Cores."      DA            Develop Amnesia.      DAP           De-select Active Peripheral>      DAUF          Delete All Useless Files "would YOU trust a,                       computer that far ???"(      DBL           Desegregate Bus Lines"      DBR           Debase Register!      DBZ           Divide By Zerog      DC            Degauss CoreG%      DC            Divide and Conquerm$      DCAD          Dump Core And Die$      DCD           Drop Cards Double4      DCGC          Dump Confusing Garbage to Console'      DCI           Disk Crash Immediatet"      DCON          Disable CONsole$      DCT           Drop Cards Triple@      DCWPDGD       Drink Coffee, Write Program, Debug, Get Drunk      DD            Destroy Diskt,      DDC           Daily During Calculations&      DDOA          Drop Dead On Answer*      DDS           Delaminate Disk Surface"      DEB           Disk Eject Both,      DEC           Decompile Executable Code'      DEI           Disk Eject Immediate.$      DEM           Disk Eject Memory%      DES           Disk Eject Swappedg0      DHTPL         Disk Head Three Point Landing.      DIA           Develop Ineffective Address=      DIIL          Disable Interrupts and enter Infinite Loopd'      DIRFW         Do It Right For Once.      DISC          DISmount CPU.       DJ            Deferred Jump#      DK            Destroy Klingons-3      DK%WMM        Disk Unit - Washing Machine Mode 2      DKP           Disavow Knowledge of Programmer$      DLN           Don't Look Now...%      DLP           Drain Literal Pool08      DMPE          Decide to Major in Physical Education-      DMPK          Destroy Memory Protect Keym$      DO            Divide & Overflow'      DOC           Drive Operator Crazyt,      DPC           Decrement Program Counter:      DPMI          Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent"      DPR           Destroy Program'      DPS           Disable Power Supply !      DRAF          DRAw FlowchartA+      DRI           Disable Random Interrupts-      DRT           Disconnect Random Terminald"      DS            Deadlock System(      DSH           Destroy Sector Header+      DSI           Do Something Interesting .      DSPK          Destroy Storage Protect Key+      DSR           Detonate Status Registers1      DSTD          Do Something Totally Different ?      DSUIT         Do Something Utterly, Indescribably TerribleA3      DT%FFP        DecTape - unload and Flappa-FlaP /      DT%SHO        DecTape - Spin Hubs OppositeM'      DTC           Destroy This Commandm$      DTI           Do The Impossible%      DTRT          Do The Right Thing 3      DTVFL         Destroy Third Variable From Left       DU            Dump User       DUD           Do Until Dead%      DVC           Devaluate Computera      DW            Destroy Work        DW            Destroy World!      DWIM          Do What I MeanB'      DWIT          Do What I'm Thinking %      DWL           Define Word Length *      DWLZ          Define Word Length Zero,      EBRS          Emit Burnt Resistor Smell      EC            Eat card !      EC            Eject Carriage .      ECI           Execute Current Instruction"      ECL           Early Care Lace0      ECO           Electrocute Computer Operator#      ECP           Erase Card Punch       ED            Eject Diski&      ED            Execute Data [UNIX]#      EDD           Eat Disk and Die 0      EDIT          Erase Data and Increment Time+      EDR           Execute Destructive Reade'      EDS           Execute Data Segment '      EEP           Erase Entire Programn$      EFD           Eject Floppy Disk'      EIAO          Execute In Any Orderr!      EIO           Erase I/O pager)      EIOC          Execute Invalid OpCodeB1      EIP           Execute Programmer Immediately 5      EJD%V         EJect Disk with initial velocity V )      ELP           Enter Loop PermanentlyB      EM            Emulate 407"      EM            Evacuate Memory+      EMSL          Entire Memory Shift Lefte5      EMT           Electrocute Maintenance TechnicianB'      EMW           Emulate Matag washerM%      ENF           Emit Noxious Fumesn'      ENH           Execute No-op & Hangr#      EO            Execute Operator -      EOI           Execute Operator Immediate %      EP            Execute Programmerd/      EPI           Execute Programmer Immediate &      EPP           Eject Printer Paper0      EPS           Electrostatic Print and Smear+      EPS           Execute Program Sidewaysh&      EPT           Erase Process Table%      EPT           Erase Punched Tapeo-      ERI           Execute Random Instructiong2      ERIC          Eject Random Integrated Circuit?      EROS          Erase Read Only Storage "Sounds  like an IBMc                       special!"a=      ESB           Eject Selectric Ball "from  IBM  selectric ,                       typewriter  terminals"(      ESL           Exceed Speed of LightD      ETI           Execute This Instruction [for recursive programs")      ETM           Emulate Turing Machinec*      EVC           Execute Verbal Commands%      EWD           Execute Warp DrivecA      EXX           A real instruction on the Zilog Z-80 -Zilog isB'                       owned by EXX  on"    H ------------------------------------------------------------------------      @           A long time ago, on a node far, far away (from ucbvax)1           a great Adventure (game?) took place...   FC     XXXXX   XXXXXX   XXXX        X    X    XX    XXXXX    XXXX    XtC     X    X  X       X    X       X    X   X  X   X    X  X    X   X C     X    X  XXXXX   X            X    X  X    X  X    X   XXXX    X C     X    X  X       X            X XX X  XXXXXX  XXXXX        X   Xo?     X    X  X       X    X       XX  XX  X    X  X   X   X    X C     XXXXX   XXXXXX   XXXX        X    X  X    X  X    X   XXXX    X   CB         It is a period of system war.  User programs striking fromB      a hidden directory,  have won their first victory against theB      evil Administrative Empire.  During  the battle,   User spiesB      managed to steal secret source code to the Empire's  ultimateB      program:  The  Are-Em Star,  a privileged root  program  withB      enough power to  destroy  an entire file  structure.  PursuedB      by the Empire's sinister audit trail,   Princess Linker racesB      aboard her  shell script,  custodian  of the  stolen listingsB      that could save her people,  and restore freedom and games to      the network...   oB      -------------------------------------------------------------  l?         THE CONTINUING SAGA OF THE ADVENTURES OF LUKE VAXHACKER    B         As we enter the scene,  an  Imperial Multiplexer is tryingB      to kill a consulate ship.   Many of their signals have gottenB      through,   and  RS232  decides  it's time to  fork  off a newB      process before this  old ship is destroyed.   His  companion,B      3CPU, is following him only  because he appears to know where      he's going..   eB         "I'm going to regret this!" cried  3CPU,  as  he  followedB      RS232 into the buffer.  RS232 closed the pipes,  made the SYSB      call,  and their  process  detached  itself  from the burningB      shell of the ship.  The commander of the Imperial MultiplexerB      was quite  pleased  with  the attack.  "Another  process justB      forked, sir. Instructions?"  asked the lieutenant. "Hold yourB      fire.   That  last  power  failure  must  have  caused a trapB      throughout zero. It's not using any cpu time,  so don't wasteB      a signal on it."   "We  can't  seem to  find  the  data  fileB      anywhere,  Lord Vadic."  "What about that forked process?  ItB      could have been holding the channel open,   and just pausing.B      If any links exist, I want them removed or made inaccessable.B      Ncheck the  entire file system  'til it's found,  and nice it      -20 if you have to."t  t6                 Meanwhile, in our wandering process...   B         "Are you sure you can  Ptrace this thing without causing aB      core  dump?" queried  3CPU  to  RS232.    This  thing's  beenB      striped,  and I'm in no mood to try and debug it."   The loneB      process finishes execution,   only to find our friends dumpedB      on a lonely file system,  with the setuid inode stored safelyB      in RS232.  Not knowing what else to do,  they wandered around"      until the jawas grabbed them.   B         Enter our hero,   Luke Vaxhacker,   who is out to get someB      replacement parts for his uncle. The jawas wanted to sell himB      3CPU,  but 3CPU didn't know how to talk directly to an  11/40B      with RSTS,  so Luke would still needed some sort of interfaceB      for 3CPU to connect to.  "How about this little RS232 unit ?"B      asked 3CPU.   "I've  delt with him many times before,  and heB      does an  excellent job at  keeping his bits straight."   LukeB      was pressed for time, so he took 3CPU's advice, and the three,      left before they could get swapped out.   B         However, RS232 is not the type to stay put once you removeB      the retaining screws.   He promptly scurried off into the theB      deserted disk space.  "Great!" cried Luke, "Now I've got thisB      little tin box  with the only  link to that file off floatingB      in the free disk space.   Well,  3CPU,  we better go find him/      before he gets allocated by someone else."d   B         The two set off,  and finaly traced  RS232  to the home ofB      PDP-1 Kenobi,  who was  busily trying to run an Icheck on theB      little RS unit.  "Is this thing yours?   His indirect addressB      are all goofed up, and the size is gargatious.   Leave thingsB      like  this  on  the  loose,  and  you'll  wind  up  with dupsB      everywhere.  However,  I  think  I've got  him  fixed up.  ItB      seems that he's has a link to a data file on the Are-Em Star.B      This could help the rebel cause."  "I don't care about that,"B      said Luke. "I'm just trying to optimize my uncles scheduler."B      "Oh,  forget about that.   Dec Vadic,  who is responsible forB      your fathers death,   has probably already destroyed his farmB      in search of this little RS232.   It's  time for you to leaveB      this place, join the rebel cause, and become a UNIX wizard! IB      know a guy by the name of  Con Solo,   who'll  fly  us to the      rebel base at a price."  aB      -------------------------------------------------------------   B         After sifting through the over-written remaining blocks ofB      Luke's home directory, Luke and PDP-1 sped away from /u/lars,B      across the surface of the  Winchester  riding  Luke's  flyingB      read / write head.  PDP-1  had  Luke  stop at the edge of theB      cylinder overlooking  /usr/spool/uucp. "Unix - to - Unix CopyB      Program;"  said PDP-1.   "You will never find a more wretchedB      hive  of bugs  and  flamers.  We must be cautious."   As  ourB      heroes'  process entered  /usr/spool/news,  it  was met  by a+      newsgroup of Imperial protection bits.a   B         "State your UID."  commanded their parent process.  "We'reB      running under  /usr/guest.  This is our  first  time  on thisB      system,"  said Luke.  "Can I see some  temporary  privileges,      please?" "Uh..."C  iB         "This is not the process you are looking for,"   piped  inB      PDP-1,  using an obscure bug to momentarily set his effective2      UID to root.  "We can go about our business."   B         "This isn't the process we want.  You are free to go aboutB      your business.  Move along!"  PDP-1  and  Luke made their wayB      through a long and tortuous nodelist (cwruecmp!decvax!ucbvax!B      harpo!ihnss!ihnsc!ihnss!ihps3!stolaf!borman)   to a dangerousB      netnode frequented by hackers,  and seldom polled by ImperialB      Multiplexers.  As Luke stepped up to the bus,  PDP-1  went inB      search of a likely file descriptor.  Luke had never seen suchB      a collection of weird and exotic device drivers.   Long ones,B      short ones, ones with stacks,  EBCDIC converters,  and direct9      binary interfaces all were drinking data at the bus.   EB         "#@{ *&^%^$$#@ ":><?><"         transmitted a particularlyB      unstructured piece of code.   "He doesn't like you,"  decodedB      his coroutine. "Sorry," replied Luke, beginning to backup hisB      partitions.  "I  don't like  you  either.   I am  queued  forB      deletion on  12  systems."  "I'll be  careful."   "You'll  beB      reallocated!"   concatenated  the  coroutine.   "This  littleB      routine  isn't  worth  the  overhead,"  said  PDP-1  Kenobie,B      overlaying into Luke's address space.  "@$%&(&^%&$$@$#@$AV^$gB      fdfRW$#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  encoded the first coroutine as itB      attempted to overload PDP-1's  input over voltage protection.B      With a unary stroke of his  bytesaber,   Kenobie unlinked theB      offensive code.  "I think I've found an I/O device that mightB      suit us."   "The name's  Con Solo.  I hear you're looking forB      some relocation."  "Yes indeed,  if it's a fast channel.   WeB      must get  off this device."    "Fast channel?   The  MilliampB      Falcon  has made the  ARPA gate  in  less than  twelve nodes!B      Why,  I've even outrun cancelled messages.   It's fast enough      for you, old version."   tB         Our heroes,  Luke Vaxhacker  and  PDP-1 Kenobie made theirB      way  to  the  temporary  file  structure.  When  he  saw  theB      hardware,  Luke exclaimed, "What a piece of junk! That's just      a paper tape reader!"  aB      -------------------------------------------------------------   A         Stay tune for the further adventures of Luke Vaxhacker in &      The next issue of Nutworks.. --Ed   B      -------------------------------------------------------------   H ------------------------------------------------------------------------