D             <<< SPCVXA::$1$DUA2:[NOTES$LIBRARY]X-NUTWORKS.NOTE;2 >>>0                                 -< X-NUTWORKS >-P ================================================================================P Note 9.0                             Issue 8                          No repliesP SPCVXA::BEN "Ben Cohen"                            1002 lines   6-MAR-1990 19:23P --------------------------------------------------------------------------------D ********************************************************************D ********************************************************************D ***                                                              ***D ***                                                              ***D ***                           NutWorks                           ***D ***                          ----------                          ***D ***          The Inter-Net Virtual Magazine Which States         ***D ***                 That Reality Is For People                   ***D ***                   Who Can't Handle Drugs.                    ***D ***                                                              ***D ***       December, 1985.  Issue008, (Volume II, Number 4).      ***D ***                                                              ***D ********************************************************************D ********************************************************************   )                           From the Bridge )                           ===============    
 Captains Log:  Stardate 850212  Commander Spock Reporting.$                                    *(                                *  * *  *'                                 **   ** '                                 **   ** (                                *  * *  *$                                    *%                                   / \ &                                  /   \>           Seasons             *--     --*                Happy(                                \       /(                                /       \)                               /         \ =          Greetings          *--        --*                New )                              /          \ *                             /            \+                            /              \ =            and           *--             --*             Year +                           /               \ ,                          /                 \-                         /                   \ .                        /                     \0                      *-------------------------*&                                |     |&                                |     |&                                -------   .                        From The NutWorks Staff   H ------------------------------------------------------------------------   )                             NutWorks News )                             =============    H    1) The NutWorks Staff hopes everyone had a great Thanksgiving weekendD and also hopes that everyone is not still suffering from turkeyitis.   H Note: Turkeyitis is a disease most common around Thanksgiving time whereH one makes a large  turkey for company and winds up eating the  leftovers@ for the next several days (in really bad cases weeks) afterward.   "    2) (Outdated material deleted.)   H ------------------------------------------------------------------------   &                              A Day Off&                              =========   1                      So, you want the day off ??? 1                      Let's take a  moment to look 1                      at what you are  asking for.    9          1      There  are 365  days available  for work.    9          2      There  are  52 weeks  per year  of  which 9                 you already have 2 days off each weekend, 9                 leaving 261 days left available for work.    9          3      Since you  spend  16  hours each day away 9                 from  work that  accounts for  170  days. 5                 There are 91 left available for work.    9          4      You spend  30  minutes each day on breaks 9                 that accounts for 23 days a year, leaving +                 68 days available for work.    9          5      You spend  1  hour a  day at lunch,  that 9                 that accounts  for another  46  days  per 8                 year leaving 22 days available for work.   9          6      You spend  2 days per year on sick leave, 3                 leaving 20 days available for work.    9          7      You take  9  holidays  per year,  leaving +                 11 days available for work.    9          8      You take  10  days  vacation  each  year, 6                 leaving 1 day left available for work.   +                            ---  NO WAY  ---    6                    Are you going to take THAT day off.   A         Let's take a moment to look at what you are asking for...       H ------------------------------------------------------------------------   D      Hi there!  With Christmas about to sneak upon us, I though thatD this  article may  be of interest to us NUTWORKS readers.  This  wasD originally  published  in the 12/19/83 issue of COMPUTERWORLD and is= written by Richard Carter of Stone & Webster in Boston, MASS. ! (Contributed by  KHAAV @ ASUACAD)       < 'Twas the week before Christmas         He was not very tallE    And all thru Tech. Supp.                And more chubby than thin; D Not a phone bell was ringing,           His nose matched his clothesD    Not a system was up                     And his face wore a grin.< My keyboard was silent                  He set right to workB    In a 'NOT POLLING' state;               Knowing just what to do? I had a blank screen                    And he didn't stop once @    On my 3278.                             Until he was through.@ The manuals were sitting                He pulled from the unitsC    Straight up on the shelves              The strangest of things, ? In hope they'd be stolen                From four calling birds @    By demented, old elves.                 To five golden rings.> And I in my office,                     He cast out the items,=    My face in my hand,                     Piece after piece, = Had just blown the system               And one of us fainted H    With an 'SPQ COMMAND.'                  When he pulled out six geese.; The users were roaming                  He said not a word. B    Outside near their bins,                Except for some griping@ Gazing thru windows                     'Cause he had to extract?    At the system within.                   Seven pipers piping. ; They saw thru the glass                 He gave out a groan H    What a programmer dreads:               And removed his black gloves,A The printers were ripping               Then reached right inside J    Their output to shreds.                 And removed two squashed doves.> The console was blurred                 Debris filled the room@    By vague moving shapes                  Right up to the doorsG While tape drives digested              'Till he slammed shut the units E    Some Master-Files tapes.                And said "It's all yours!" ? Operations was frantic                  We looked at each other E    And Systems was screaming:              And said, "What the hell?" C "Our CE's at lunch,                     Then pushed the blue button ;    (Or off somewhere dreaming)."           That said "IPL." > The management came                     We heard a few clicks,?    And learned of our fate                 A groan and a glupp, > Once again caught                       And wouldn't you know,B    In a Downtime Stalemate.                The damn thing came up.? "What can we do?"                       The FE just stood there D    One boss moaned in stress.              with a smile on his face.9 "I wish we had someone                  As fix-it men go, ?    To fix up this mess."                   This guy was an ace. > Then all of a sudden                    He packed up his toolsB    From outside the door                   And mounted his sleigh,C We heard a great crash                  Stuck his thumb to his nose ?    And dived for the floor.                And went on his way.== And then to our eyes                    We watched as he flewe=    Appeared a great sled                   Off into the night 9 And inside, an FE                       Until in the dark B    (Who was dressed in all red).           He vanished from sight.@ He was covered with ink                 Yet we heard him exclaimB    From his head to his toe                And it was sort of dim,@ And commented loudly                    "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL,A    "I wish it were snow."                  But don't call again."    H ------------------------------------------------------------------------   6                 BABBAGE --- the language of the future6                 ======================================9              Copied from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institutet,                             by Tim McDonough0                        (NU099138@NDSUVM1.BITNET)      F         There are few things in this business that  are more fun  thanF    designing a new computer language, and the very latest is ADA - theF    Department of Defense's new supertoy.  ADA,  as you know,  has beenF    designed to replace  outmoded and obsolete  languages such as COBOL    and fortran.*  *F         The problem is that this cycle takes 20 to 30 years and  won'tF    start  until  we're really  convinced  present languages aren't anyF    good. We can  short-circuit  this  process  by  starting  on  ADA'sF    replacement right now. Then, by the time we decide ada is obsolete,!    its replacement will be ready.    F         The new generation of language  designers has  taken to namingF    its brian children after  real people  rather than resorting to theF    usual acronyms.   Pascal is named after the first person to build aF    calculating  machine and  ADA  is named  after the  first  computerF    programmer.  As our namesake, we chose charles babbage, who died inF    poverty while trying to finish building the first computer. The newF    language is thus named after the first  systems designer to go over    budget and behind schedule.   F         Babbage is based on  language elements  that  were  discoveredF    after the design of ADA was completed.  For instance, C.A.R. Hoare,F    in  his  1980  ACM  Turing  Award  lecture,  told  of two  ways  of"    constructing a software design:   B       "One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously noB        deficiencies and the other way is to make it so complicated/        that there are no obvious deficiencies."    F    The  designers  of  Babbage  have  chosen  a third  alternative - aF    language that has only obvious deficiencies.   Babbage programs areF    so unreliable that maintenace  can begin  before system integrationF    is completed.   This guarantees  a steady increase in the debug job    marketplace.    F         Like Pascal, ADA uses  "strong typing"  to avoid errors causedF    by mixing data types.   The designers of  Babbage  advocated  "goodF    typing"  to avoid errors caused by  misspelling  the words  in yourF    program. Later versions of Babbage will also allow  "touch typing",$    which will fill a long-felt need.  sF         A hotly contested issue among language designers is the methodF    for passing  parameters  to subfunctions.   Some advocate  "call byF    name",  others prefer  "call by value".   Babbage uses a new methodF    "call by telephone". This is especially effective for long-distance    parameter passing.   mF         ADA  stresses the  concept of  software portability.   BabbageF    encourage hardware portability. After all,  what good is a computer!    if you can't take it with you?e   F         It's  a  good  sign  if  your  language  is  sponsored  by theF    government.  COBOL had government backing,  and ADA is being fundedG    by the department of defense. After much negotiation, The department /    of sanitation has agreed to sponsor Babbage.    F         No subsets of ADA are allowed.   Babbage is just the opposite.F    None of  Babbage is  defined  except its extensibility -  each userF    must define his own version.   To end the debate of large languagesF    versus small,  Babbage allows  each user  to make  the language anyF    size  he wants.   Babbage  is  the  ideal  language  for  the  "ME"F    generation.   The examples that follow  will give some idea of what    Babbage looks like.   F         Structured languages banned GOTOs and the multiway conditionalG    branches by replacing them with the simpiler If-Then-Else structure.lF    Babbage  has a number of  new conditional statements  that act like.    termites in the structures of your program:  f         What If - <                Used in simulation languages. Branches before*                evaluating test conditions.            Or Else -n(                Conditonal threat, as in:2                   "Add these two numbers or else!"  -         Why Not? -A                Executes the code that follows in a devil-may-caret                fashion.             Who Else? - 6                Used for polling during I/O operations.            Elsewhere -PB                This is where your program really is when you think                it's here.b  K         Going Going Gone -@                For writing unstructured programs. Takes a random@                branch to another part of your program.  Does the                 work of 10 GOTOs.   F         For years, programming languages have used "FOR", "DO UNTIL",">    DO WHILE", etc. to mean "LOOP". Continuing with this trend,0    Babbage offers the following loop statements:  t         Don't Do While Not -E                This loop is not executed if the test condition is noto3                false (or if it's Friday afternoon).l            Didn't Do -u<                The loop executes onces and hides all traces.  i         Can't Do -"                The loop is pooped.            Won't Do -H                The CPU halts because it doesn't like the code inside theH                loop. Execution can be resumed by typing  "MAY I"  at the                console.m            Might Do -E                Depends on how the cpu is feeling. executed if the cpu E                is "UP",  not executed if the CPU is "DOWN"  or if its '                feelings have been hurt.   r         Do Unto Others -J                Used to write the main loop for timesharing systems so thatB                they will antagonize the users in a uniform manner.  a         Do-Wah -?                Used to write timing loop for computer-generatedy"                music (rag timing).  gF         Every self-respecting structured language has a case statementF    to implement  multiway  brancing.   Algol  offers an  indexed  caseF    statement and Pascal has a  labeled case statement.   Not much of a7    choice. Babbage offers a variety of case statements:   e$         The Just-In-Case statement -<                For handling afterthoughts and fudge factors.<                Allows you to multiply by zero to correct for-                accidentally dividing by zero.s   "         The Brief Case statement -.                To encourage portable software.   *         The Open-And-Shut case statement -B                No proof of correctness is necessary with this one.  p#         The In-Any case statement -m%                This one always works."  .%         The Hopeless case statement - $                This one never works.  d#         The Basket case statement -a&                A really hopeless case.   F         The Babbage Language Design Group  is  continuously evaluatingF    new features  that will  keep its  users from reaching any level ofF    effectiveness.  For instance, Babbage's designers are now consider-F    ing the almost equals sign,   used for comparing two floating pointB    numbers. This new feature "Takes the worry out of being close".  eF         No language, no matter how bad, can stand on its own.  We needF    a really  state-of-the-art  operating system  to  support  Babbage.F    After trying  several  commercial systems,   we decided  to write aF    "virtual"   operating  system.   Everybody  has  a  virtual  memoryF    operating system so we decided to try something a little different.F    our new  operating  system is  called the  Virtual  Time  OperatingF    System (VTOS).   While virtual  memory systems  make the computer'sF    memory the  virtual resource,   VTOS  does the same thing with  CPU    processing time.F   F         The result is that the computer can run an unlimited number ofF    jobs at  the  same time.   Like the  virtual memory  system,  whichF    actually keeps part of the memory on disk,  VTOS has to play tricksF    to achieve its goals.  Although all of your jobs seem to be running:    right now, some of them are actually running next week.  =F         As you can see, Babbage is still in its infancy.   The babbageF    language design group    seeking  suggestions for this powerful newF    language and as the sole member of this group (all applications forF    membership  will  be  accepted),  I call  on  the  data  processing5    community for help in making this dream a reality.   D  rH ------------------------------------------------------------------------  o5                   "Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL"L5                   ===================================s&                                PART II  s  t/                     THE REAL PROGRAMMER AT WORKe/                     ---------------------------s  rD      Where  does the  typical  Real Programmer  work?   What kind ofD   programs are  worthy of the  efforts of so talented an individual?D   You can be  sure that no  Real Programmer  would  be  caught  deadD   writing accounts-receivable programs in COBOL,  or sorting mailingD   lists for People magazine.  A Real Programmer wants tasks of earth"   shaking importance (literally!).  AA      *  Real Programmers work for Los Alamos National Laboratory,mA                          writing atomic bomb  simulations  to runn2                          on Cray I supercomputers.  n?      *  Real Programmers work for the National Security Agency, 8                          decoding Russian transmissions.  o>      *  It was largely due to the efforts of thousands of Real>         Programmers  working for NASA that our boys got to the*         moon and back before the Russkies.  t>      *  Real Programmers are at work for Boeing  designing the?                          operating systems for cruise missiles.d  cC      Some of the most awesome  Real Programmers  of all work at thehC   Jet Propulsion Laboratory  in California.  Many of them  know theeC   entire operating system of the  Pioneer and Voyager spacecraft bybC   heart.  With a combination of large ground-based FORTRAN programsnC   and small spacecraft-based assembly language programs,   they are C   able to do incredible feats of  navigation  and  improvisation -- C   hitting ten-kilometer wide  windows at Saturn after  six years indC   space, repairing  or bypassing damaged sensor platforms,  radios,oC   and batteries.  Allegedly,  one Real Programmer managed to tuck a C   pattern-matching  program  into  a  few  hundred  bytes of unusedyC   memory in a Voyager spacecraft that  searched for,  located,  andt%   photographed a new moon of Jupiter.    C      The  current  plan  for  the  Galileo  spacecraft  is to use a C   gravity assist trajectory past Mars on the way to Jupiter.   This C   trajectory  passes  within  80 +/-3  kilometers of the surface oflC   Mars.   Nobody is going to trust a  PASCAL  program  (or a PASCALc1   programmer) for navigation to these tolerances.u  eC      As you can tell, many of the world's Real Programmers work for C   the U.S. Government -- mainly the Defense Department.  This is aslC   it should be. Recently, however,  a black cloud has formed on thebC   Real Programmer horizon.  It seems that some highly placed QuichetC   Eaters  at  the  Defense  Department  decided  that  all  DefensesC   programs should be written in some grand unified language  callede   C   "ADA" ((C), DoD).  For a while,   it seemed that ADA was destinedsC   to become a language that  went against all  the precepts of RealbC   Programming -- a language with structure,    a language with datatC   types,  strong typing,   and semicolons.   In short,   a languagelD   designed to cripple the creativity of the typical Real Programmer.C   Fortunately, the language adopted by DoD  has  enough interestinguC   features to make it approachable -- it's incredibly complex,  andeC   includes methods  for  messing  with  the  operating  system  andbD   rearranging memory, and Edsgar Dijkstra doesn't like it. Dijkstra,D   as I'm sure you know, was the author of "GoTos Considered Harmful"D   -- a landmark work in programming methodology, applauded by PASCAL&   programmers and Quiche Eaters alike.   D      The Real Programmer might compromise his principles and work onD   something slightly more trivial than the destruction of life as weD   know it, providing there's enough money in it.   There are severalD   Real Programmers building video games at Atari, for example.  (ButD   not  playing  them -- a  Real Programmer  knows  how  to  beat theD   machine every time:  no challenge in that.)    Everyone working atD   LucasFilm is a Real Programmer.  (It  would be  crazy to turn downD   the money of fifty million Star Trek fans.) The proportion of RealD   Programmers in  Computer Graphics is somewhat lower than the norm,D   mostly because nobody  has found  a use for computer graphics yet.D   On the other hand,  all computer graphics is  done in FORTRAN,  soD   there are a fair number of people doing graphics in order to avoid!   having to write COBOL programs.p      0                      THE REAL PROGRAMMER AT PLAY0                      ---------------------------   D      Generally,   the Real Programmer plays the same way he works --D   with computers. He is constantly amazed that his employer actuallyD   pays him to do what he would be doing for fun anyway  (although heD   is careful not to  express this  opinion out loud).  Occasionally,D   the Real Programmer  does step out  of the office  for a breath ofD   fresh  air  and  a  beer  or two.  Some  tips on  recognizing Real*   Programmers away from the computer room:  eC      *  At a party, the Real Programmers are the ones in the corner C         talking  about operating  system  security  and  how to gete         around it.  i;      *  At a football game,  the Real Programmer is the ones;         comparing the plays against his simulations printed "         on 11 by 14 fanfold paper.  -<      *  At the beach, the Real Programmer is the one drawing         flowcharts in the sand.n  gA      *  At a funeral, the Real Programmer is the one saying "PoorlA         George. And he almost had the sort routine working beforec         the coronary."  f>      *  In a grocery store, the Real Programmer is the one who>         insists  on running  the cans past  the laser checkout>         scanner himself, because he never could trust keypunch1         operators to get it right the first time.a  d  a5                 THE REAL PROGRAMMER'S NATURAL HABITATe5                 -------------------------------------    D      What sort of environment does the Real Programmer function bestD   in?   This is an  important  question  for  the managers  of  RealD   Programmers. Considering the amount of money it  costs to keep oneD   on the staff,  it's best to  put him  (or her)  in an  environment!   where he can get his work done.a   D      The typical Real Programmer lives in front of a computer  term-&   inal. Surrounding this terminal are:   D      *  Listings of all programs the Real Programmer has ever workedD         on,   piled  in roughly  chronological  order on every  flat         surface in the office.   @      *  Some half-dozen or so partly filled cups of cold coffee.@         Occasionally,  there will be cigarette butts floating in@         the coffee. In some cases,  the cups will contain Orange         Crush.  eB      *  Unless he is very good, there will be copies of the OS JCLB         manual  and  the  Principles  of  Operation  open to  some'         particularly interesting pages.o   C      *  Taped to the wall is a line-printer Snoopy calendar for the.         year 1969.   E      *  Strewn about the floor are several wrappers for peanut butterhE         filled cheese bars -- the type that are made pre-stale at thelE         bakery  so they  can't get  any worse  while  waiting  in the          vending machine.  tD      *  Hiding in the top left-hand drawer of the desk is a stash of1         double-stuff Oreos for special occasions.a  aC      *  Underneath the Oreos is a flowcharting template, left there C         by the previous occupant of the office.   (Real ProgrammersrC         write  programs,   not - documentation.   Leave that to thes         maintenance people.)      D      The Real Programmer is capable of working 30, 40, even 50 hoursD   at a stretch, under intense pressure.  In fact, he prefers it thatD   way.  Bad response time  doesn't bother  the Real Programmer -- itD   gives him a chance to  catch a little sleep  between compiles.  IfD   there is not enough schedule pressure on the Real Programmer,   heD   tends to make things more challenging by working on some small butD   interesting part of the problem for the first nine weeks, and thenD   finishing  the rest  in the  last  week,    two  or  three 50-hourD   marathons.   This not only  impresses the hell out of his manager,D   who was despairing of ever getting the project done on time,   butD   creates a convenient  excuse for not  doing the documentation.  In
   general:   @      *  No Real Programmer works 9 to 5 (unless it's the ones at         night).o  s-      *  Real Programmers don't wear neckties.i   6      *  Real Programmers don't wear high-heeled shoes.   :      *  Real Programmers arrive at work in time for lunch.  PB      *  A Real Programmer might or might not know his wife's name.B         He does, however, know the entire ASCII  (or EBCDIC)  code         table.  I@      *  Real Programmers don't know how to cook.  Grocery stores@         aren't  open at three  in the morning.  Real Programmers'         survive on Twinkies and coffee.d  t  h%                            THE FUTURE %                            ----------b   D      What of  the future?  It is a  matter of  some concern  to RealD   Programmers that the latest generation of computer programmers areE   not being brought up with the same outlook on life as their elders.mD   Many of them have never seen a computer with a front panel. HardlyD   anyone  graduating  from school  these days  can do hex arithmeticD   without a  calculator.  College graduates  these days  are soft --D   protected  from  the  realities  of  programming  by  source levelE   debuggers, text editors that count parentheses, and "user friendly"iD   operating systems. Worst of all,  some of these alleged  "computerD   scientists"  manage to get  degrees without ever learning FORTRAN!D   Are we destined to become an industry of  Unix hackers  and PASCAL   programmers?  PD      From my experience, I can only report that the future is brightD   for Real Programmers everywhere.   Neither OS\370 nor FORTRAN showD   any signs of dying out, despite all the efforts of PASCAL program-D   mers the world over.  Even more subtle tricks,  like adding struc-D   tured coding constructs to  FORTRAN  have failed.   Oh sure,  someD   computer  vendors have  come out with  FORTRAN 77  compilers,  butD   every  one  of them  has a way  of  converting  itself back into aD   FORTRAN 66 compiler at the drop of an option card -- to compile DO"   loops like God meant them to be.  oD      Even Unix might not be  as bad on  Real Programmers  as it onceD   was.  The latest release of Unix has the potential of an operatingD   system worthy of any  Real Programmer -- two  different and subtlyD   incompatible  user interfaces, an  arcane and complicated teletypeD   driver,   virtual memory.   If  you  ignore  the  fact  that  it'sD   "structured",  even 'C' programming can be appreciated by the RealD   Programmer:  after all,  there's no type checking,  variable namesD   are seven  (ten? eight?)  characters long,  and the added bonus ofD   the Pointer data type  is thrown in -- like  having the best partsD   of  FORTRAN  and assembly language  in one place.  (Not to mention.   some of the more creative uses for #define.)   D      No, the future isn't all that bad.   Why, in the past few yearsD   the popular  press has  even commented  on the bright  new crop ofD   computer nerds and hackers leaving places like Stanford and M.I.T.D   for  the  Real World.   From  all evidence,   the  spirit of  RealD   Programming  lives on  in these  young men  and women.  As long as  mD   there  are  ill-defined  goals,   bizarre bugs,   and  unrealisticD   schedules,   there will be Real Programmers willing to jump in andD   and Solve The Problem, saving the documentation for later.    Long   live FORTRAN!w  ,  o)                            ACKNOWLEGEMENTa)                            --------------e  aD      I would like to thank Jan E.,  Dave S.,  Rich G.,  Rich E., forD   their help in characterizing the Real Programmer,  Heather B.  forD   the illustration, Kathy E. for putting up with it,  and atd!avsdS:#   mark for the initial inspiration.h  o   '                              REFERENCESp'                              ----------r  a>            Feirstein, B., "Real Men  don't  Eat  Quiche",  New$            York, Pocket Books, 1982.  e>            Wirth,  N.,  "Algorithms  +   Data   Structures   =*            Programs", Prentice Hall, 1976.  o>            Ilson, R., "Recent Research  in  Text  Processing",>            IEEE  Trans.   Prof.  Commun., Vol.  PC-23, No.  4,            Dec.  4, 1980.-  ->            Finseth, C., "Theory and Practice of  Text  Editors>            -- or -- a Cookbook for  an  EMACS",  B.S.  Thesis,>            MIT/LCS/TM-165,    Massachusetts    Institute    of             Technology, May 1980.   >            Weinberg,   G.,   "The   Psychology   of   Computer>            Programming",  New  York,  Van  Nostrand  Reinhold,            1971, p.  110.n  a>            Dijkstra, E., "On the GREEN language  submitted  to>            the  DoD",  Sigplan  notices,  Vol. 3  No.  10, Oct            1978.  e>            Rose, Frank, "Joy of Hacking", Science 82, Vol.   3&            No.  9, Nov 82, pp.  58-66.   >            "The Hacker Papers", Psychology Today, August 1980.   >            sdcarl!lin, "Real Programmers", UUCP-net,  Thu  Oct            21 16:55:16 1982.  -   H ------------------------------------------------------------------------  sD               A long time ago, on a node far, far away (from ucbvax)5               a great Adventure (game?) took place...   tG         XXXXX   XXXXXX   XXXX        X    X    XX    XXXXX    XXXX    XyG         X    X  X       X    X       X    X   X  X   X    X  X    X   XtG         X    X  XXXXX   X            X    X  X    X  X    X   XXXX    XeG         X    X  X       X            X XX X  XXXXXX  XXXXX        X   XaC         X    X  X       X    X       XX  XX  X    X  X   X   X    X G         XXXXX   XXXXXX   XXXX        X    X  X    X  X    X   XXXX    X   iF             It is a period of system war.  User programs striking fromF          a hidden directory,  have won their first victory against theF          evil Administrative Empire.  During  the battle,   User spiesF          managed to steal secret source code to the Empire's  ultimateF          program:  The  Are-Em Star,  a privileged root  program  withF          enough power to  destroy  an entire file  structure.  PursuedF          by the Empire's sinister audit trail,   Princess Linker racesF          aboard her  shell script,  custodian  of the  stolen listingsF          that could save her people,  and restore freedom and games to          the network...y  tF          -------------------------------------------------------------  ,C             THE CONTINUING SAGA OF THE ADVENTURES OF LUKE VAXHACKER   v   F             When we had last left Luke,  the Milliamp Falcon was beingF          pulled down to the open  collector of the  Imperial Arem StarF          Workstation.    Dec  Vadic  surveys  the  relic  as  Imperial*          Flunkies search for passengers...  nF             "LS scan shows no one aboard, sir," was the report.  VadicF          was  unconvinced.  "Send a  fully  equipped  Ncheck squad  onF          board," he said. "I want every inode checked out."  He turnedF          around  (secondary channel)  and  stalked  off.  On board theF          Milliamp Falcon,  .Luke  was puzzled.  "They  just walked in,F          looked around and walked off," he said.  "Why didn't they seeF          us?" .Con smiled. "An old munchkin trick," he explained. "SeeF          that period in front of your name?"  .Luke spun around,  justF          in time to see the decimal point.   "Where'd that come from?"F          he asked.  "Spare decimal  points  lying around from the lastF          time I fixed the  floating  point  accelerator,"  said  .Con.F          "Handy for smuggling  blocks  accross file system boundaries,F          but I never thought I'd have to use them on myself.  They areF          not going to be fooled for long, though.   We'd better figure          a way outa here."   F          -------------------------------------------------------------  sF             <<  At this point (.) the dialogue tends to wedge.   BeingF          the editor and in total control of the situation,  I think itF          would be best if we sort of  "gronk" the next few paragraphs.F          For those who care,  our heroes find themselves in a terminalF          room of the Workstation,  having thrashed several Flunkies toF          get there.  For the rest of you, just keep banging the  rocks"          together, guys. --Ed.  >>   F          -------------------------------------------------------------   F             "Hold on," said Con. "It says we have `new mail.'  Is thatF          an error?"  "%SYS-W-NORMAL,  Normal,  successful completion,"F          said PDP-1.  "Doesn't look like it.  I've found the inode forF          the Milliamp Falcon.  It's locked in kernel data space.  I'llF          have to slip  in and patch the  reference count,  alone."  He2          disappeared through a nearby entry point.   F             Meanwhile,  RS232  found a serial port and logged in.  HisF          bell  started  ringing  loudly. "He keeps saying,   'She's onF          line, she's on line',"  said  3CPU.  "I believe that he meansF          Princess LPA0:.   She is being  held on one of the privileged          levels."s  oF          -------------------------------------------------------------  dF             << Once again, things get sticky, and the dialogue suffersF          the most damage.   After much handwaving and general flaming,F          they  agreed to  rescue her.   They headed for  the detentionF          level,  posing as Flunkies   (which is hard for most hackers)F          claiming that they had finally trapped the  Bookie  executingF          an illegal racket.  They reached the block where the PrincessF          was locked up and found only two guards in the header. -Ed.>>  .F          -------------------------------------------------------------  hF             "Good day, eh?"   said the first guard.  "How is it goin',F          eh?"  said the other.  "Like,   what's that,   eh?"  "ProcessF          transfer from block 1138, dev 10/9,"  said Con. "Take off, itF          is not," said the first guard.  "Nobody told US about it, and          we're not morons, eh?"6  mF             At this point (.),  the Bookie started raving wildly,  ConF          shouted "Look out, he's loose!" and they all started blastingF          ROMs left and right.  The guards started to catch on and wereF          about to  issue a general  wakeup  when the ROM blasters wereF          turned on them. "Quickly, now," said Con. "What buffer is she7          in?  It's not going to take long for these..."r  tF             The intercom receiver interrupted him,  so he took out itsF          firmware with a short blast. "guys to figure out something is!          goin' on," he continued.?  gF          -------------------------------------------------------------   D           Will they or won't they end up in the galactic bit-bucket?=           Catch the next issue of Nutworks and find out. --Ede  vF          -------------------------------------------------------------      H ------------------------------------------------------------------------  c/                       OP CODES PART III (R - Z)e/                       =========================d7                 (Contributed By Knappy 8350428 @ UWAVM)m        mnemonic      meaningm     --------      ------- "     RA            Randomize Answer.     RAM           Reorganize and Abort Monitor%     RASC          Read And Shred Cardl)     RAST          Rewind And Stretch Tape,$     RAU           Ridicule All Users.     RBAO          Ring Bell and Annoy Operator%     RBG           Random Bug Generate /     RBLY          Restore Backup from Last Yeard#     RBT           Read & Break Tapeh#     RCAJ          Read Card And Jamh)     RCB           Read Commands BackwardsB%     RCB           Run Clock Backwardsr$     RCC           Read Card and Chew2     RCCP          Randomly Corrupt Current Process%     RCF           Rewind Cabinet Fans ,     RCKG          Read Count Key and Garbage$     RCR           Rewind Card Reader3     RCRV          Randomly Convert to Reverse Video1+     RCSD          Read Card & Scramble Data      RD            Rewind Disk +     RDA           Refuse to Disclose Answer $     RDD           Reverse Disk Drive/     RDF           Randomize Directory Filenames (     RDI           Reverse Drum Immediate+     RENVR         Rename Variables Randomlyh%     RET           Read and Erase Tapei-     RIC           Rotate Illogical thru CarryM#     RID           Read Invalid DataL%     RIR           Read Invalid Recorde'     RIRG          Read Inter-Record Gap H     RIRG          Rewrite Inter-Record Gap [random replacement of simil-                    ar mnemonic"a#     RLC           Re-read last card7(     RLC           Relocate and Lose Core*     RLI           Rotate Left Indefinitely"     RLP           Refill Light Pen%     RLP           Rewind Line Printer.%     RM            Re-initialize Metera&     RM            Ruin My files [UNIX],     RMI           Randomize Memory Immediate'     RMV           Remove Memory Virtuesu     RN            Read Noise)     RNBS          Reflect Next Bus SignalO#     RNR           Read Noise Record #     ROD           ROtate Diagonally-&     ROM           Read Operator's Mind"     ROOP          Run Out Of Paper+     ROPF          Read Other People's Files "     ROS           Reject Op System3     ROT           Rotate Disk [fixes broken drives]X     RP            Read Printer&     RPAB          Read Print And Blush#     RPB           Raise Parity Bits )     RPB           Reverse Parity & Branch $     RPD           Return Postage Due(     RPM           Read Programmer's Mind6     RPU           Read character and Print Upside down'     RRB           Read Record and Blush *     RRC           Rotate Random thru Carry(     RRRA          Read Record & Run Away-     RRRL          Random Rotate Register Leftr-     RRSG          Round and Round She Goes...w     RS            Random Slewt(     RSD           Read and Scramble Data)     RST           Rewind and Stretch Tapem     RST           Rust#     RT            Reduce Throughput $     RT            Reverse Throughput$     RTR           Return To Register"     RTS           Return To Sender7     RWRT          Read While Writing While Ripping Tapes&     SAC           stop air conditioner"     SAD           Seek And Destroy!     SAF           Sit And Flickert'     SAI           Skip All Instructions,     SAS           Sit And Spin#     SC            Scramble Channels      SC            Shred Cards-(     SCB           Spindle Card and Belch1     SCCA          Short Circuit on Correct AnswerL'     SCH           Slit Cards Horizontalw'     SCI           Shred Cards Immediaten%     SCOM          Set Cobol-Only Mode ,     SCRRC         SCRamble Register Contents-     SCST          Switch Channel to Star Trek &     SCTR          Stick Card To Reader$     SD            Scramble Directory     SD            Slip Diska'     SDC           Spool Disk to Console &     SDDB          Snap Disk Drive Belt.     SDE           Solve Differential Equations+     SDI           Self Destruct Immediatelyd&     SEB           Stop Eating and BurpH     SEX           Set EXecution register [a real instruction for the RCA                    1802"     SEX           Sign EXtendd(     SFH           Set Flags to Half mast      SFT           Stall For Time*     SFTT          Strip Form Tractor Teeth#     SHB           Stop and Hang Busa#     SHCD          SHuffle Card Deck '     SHIT          Stop Here If Thursdayh:     SHON          Simulate HONeywell CPU [permanent NO-OP]     SHRC          SHRed Card     SHRT          SHRed Tape,     SID           Switch to Infinite Density,     SIP           Store indefinite precision     SKIP          don't SKIP     SLD           Slip Diskd#     SLP           Sharpen Light Pene&     SLP           Sharpen Light Pencil*     SMC           Scramble memory contentsH     SMD           Spontaneous Memory Dump(Use only with classified data)%     SMS           Shred Mylar Surface !     SMT           Stretch MagTapes     SNM           Show No Mercye0     SOAWP         SOlve All the World's Problems-     SOB           [a real PDP-11 instruction]g#     SOD           Surrender Or Die! &     SOP           Stop and Order Pizza"     SOS           Sign Off, Stupid     SP            Scatter Printh*     SPA           Sliding Point Arithmetic     SPD           Spin dry disce$     SPS           Smoke Power Supply0     SPSW          Scramble Processor Status Word)     SRBO          Set Random Bits to Ones-+     SRBZ          Set Random Bits to Zeroesy(     SRC           Skip to Random Channel,     SRCC          Select Reader & Chew Cards*     SRD           Switch to Random Density0     SRDR          Shift Right, Double Ridiculous+     SRO           Sort with Random OrderinglH     SRR           Set Registers to Random values [ usually used prior to                     a RET or RTS"(     SRR           Shift Registers Random)     SRSD          Seek Record & Scar Disk %     SRU           Signoff Random User *     SRZ           Subtract & Reset to Zero&     SSB           Scramble Status Byte%     SSD           Stacker Select Diskm&     SSJ           Stacker Select & Jam)     SSJP          Select Stacker and Jump -     SSM           Solve by Supernatural Means-!     SSP           Smoke and SPark-'     SST           Stop and Stretch Tapeg     ST            Set and Test"     STD           Stop, Take Drugs%     STN           Search Tree for Nutn     STPR          SToP Rain 4     STTHB         Set Terminal to Three Hundred Baud     SU            Stacker Upseti$     SUI           Subtract User's IQ     SUME          SUrprise ME *     SUP           Solve Unsolvable Problem"     SUR           Screw Up Royally#     SUS           Stop Until Springl)     SUS           Subract Until Senselesse      SWAT          SWAp Terminals     SWN           SWap Nibbles+     SWOS          SWap out Operating System %     SWS           Sort to Wrong Slots (     SZD           Switch to Zero Density/     TARC          Take Arithmetic Review Course -     TBFTG         Two Burgers and Fries To Goo&     TDB           Transfer & Drop Bits(     TDB           Transfer and Drop Bits$     TDS           Trash Data Segment2     TEP           Terminate with Extreme Prejudice5     TLNF          Teach me a Lesson I'll Never Forget +     TLO           Turn indicator Lights Off )     TLR           Transfer & Loose Returnr'     TLW           Transfer and Lose Wayt     TN            Take a Nap$     TOG           Time Out, Graduate'     TOH           Take Operator Hostageh&     TOOO          Turn On/Off Operator(     TOS           Trash Operating System%     TPD           Triple Pack Decimalp0     TPE           Translate Programmer to EBCDIC6     TPDH          Tell Programmer to Do it Him/Herself!     TPO           Toggle Power On      TPR           Tear PapeR*     TR            Turn into Rubbish [UNIX]>     TRA           Te Rdls Arvs [Type Ridiculous Abbreviations])     TSH           Trap Secretary and Haltu*     TSM           Trap Secretary and Mount%     TST           Trash System Tracks-(     TT%CNK        TeleType - Clunk Noise/     TT%EKB        TeleType - Electrify KeyBoard-      TTA           Try, Try AgainH     TTITT         Turn 2400 foot tape  Into  Two 1200 foot  tapes " Only@                    privileged users will get hubs on both tapes"!     TTL           Time To Log off-/     UAI           Use Alternate Instruction set )     UCB           Uncouple CPU and Brancho*     UCK           Unlock Console Keyswitch'     UCPUB         Uncouple CPU & Brancht'     UER           Update & Erase RecordU%     UMR           Unlock Machine Roomn!     UNPD          Unplug and dumpd#     UOP           Useless Operatione)     UP            Understand Program(mer) $     UT            Update Transaction(     UTF           Unwind Tape onto Floor-     UUBR          Use Undefined Base Register (     VAX           Violate All executions)     VNO           Violate Noise Ordinancer,     VPA           Vanishing Point Arithmetic)     VVM           Vaporise Virtual Memoryt&     WAD           Walk Away in Disgust#     WC            Waste Core [UNIX]d&     WCR           Write to Card Reader8     WGPB          Write Garbage in Process-control Block)     WHP           Wave Hands over Problemc     WI            Why Immediatee$     WID           Write Invalid Data'     WLBB          Write-Lock Bit Bucket &     WNHR          Write New Hit Record$     WNR           Write Noise Record(     WPET          Write Past End of Tape(     WSE           Write Stack Everywhere3     WSWW          Work in Strange and Wondrous Ways '     WUPO          Wad Up Printer Output +     WWLR          Write Wrong Length Recorde)     XIO           eXecute Invalid Op codeo)     XKF           eXecute Kermit the Frog !     XMB           eXclusive MayBe7(     XOH           eXecute no-Op and Hang"     XOR           eXecute OperatoR)     XOS           eXchange Operator's Sexn$     XPR           eXecute Programmer-     XPSW          eXecute Program Status Word )     XVF           eXchange Virtue for Fun %     ZAP           Zero and Add Packed      ZD            Zap Directoryt0     ZNL           Zero Next Location (opcode #0)     ZPI           ZaP Immediate "     ZPT           Zero Page Tables      ZZF           Zero Zero Flag&     ZZZ           hibernate indefiniteH ------------------------------------------------------------------------